Babywearing is extremely important in my life. It was a crucial part of my parenting philosophy going in. I put a heavy emphasis on independent play, but babies are young. They need you. They don’t like to have time alone.
Babywearing is what has allowed me to do what I want to do with my child in tow.
It has been amazing to watch Zander reach developmental milestones. The first time he grabbed something, the first time he propped himself up on his arms, the first time he smiled.
He has recently hit another milestone: a bit of stranger danger. He knows who he knows and who he doesn’t. He knows he is separate from me. He understands that he can be left alone—he does not care for it.
Carrying has become more important than ever. Only a few weeks ago, I could see him across the room from me, and he would be happy to maybe see me. Maybe hear my voice.
He no longer accepts these crumbs. He wants all of the mommy, all of the time.
While this can be overwhelming for people, I believe that a lot of the discomfort of it comes from trying to accomplish tasks while leaving your baby alone. When I have tried to approach things this way, I can feel myself getting frustrated.
Not at my child, but at the situation.
There is something that I want to do, or need to do, that I cannot get done.
I firmly believe that my son is the number one thing I need take care of.
But, can I breathe?
All of this frustration completely evaporates away when I wear him. This frees my hands to accomplish almost anything.
I want to make this clear: I don’t believe babywearing his how you create a secure attachment. The science doesn’t support it. You don’t need to practice the 7 B’s of Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting–birth bonding, breastfeeding, babywearing, bed sharing, beware baby trainers, read baby’s cues, set boundaries—to create a secure attachment in your baby.
I practice all of those 7 B’s. Only one of them is necessary: Responding sensitively and consistently to baby’s cues.
This is the only thing that can create a secure attachment.
If you breastfeed but never lock eyes and smile at her;
if you bed share but ignore her cry,
then your child will have difficulty creating a secure attachment.
If you bottle feed but engage your child,
look when she is pointing,
and mirror her emotions,
you are in a better place to create a secure attachment than a breastfeeding mother who is not present.
I put forward babywearing as a practical way to get your child’s needs met. That’s our job as parents. There physical needs, emotional needs, and social needs.
After that, they should absorb our world. Their lives revolve around ours, not the other way around.
Children follow adults, not the other way around.
To this end, I wear my baby. I have walks to take, cooking to do, books to write, and floors to clean.
If I left Zander by himself on the bed, he would complain.
I would need to then drop what I was doing, and respond to him.
This takes you out of the state of flow. It makes the day feel broken up and more difficult.
There are babywearing precautions that you should take. You should be trying to do exercises that strengthen your back and correct your alignment.
There are a few simple exercises for this. Do wall angles, pelvic tilts, and ragdoll pose regularly. Do TA contractions muscles before and after putting on baby.
Check here for more tips.
Even if you do not decide to baby wear, these basic exercises will still be helpful for your postpartum body. Breastfeeding mothers, in particular, will benefit. None of them are serious workouts. I’ve also attached the beginning of the series on alignment that you can look at.
For more on posture alignment, watch this video series.
and Tell me how you feel about babywearing!
What carrier or wrap do you use? Do you have any tips about babywearing or fitness for mothers?
What is one exercise for alignment you can dedicate yourself to doing once a week?